Balloons

 Balloons

A big red balloon. panda had a big red balloon.  Mum had chosen to teach me to read and he tied a red balloon to panda as the book I was reading was panda has a big red balloon mum taught me to read at home this is something I chose not to do with my own child as I knew the school were unhappy that I could read when I arrived and these days I use phonics to teach reading and not the Guardian newspaper So I didn’t want to interfere with a method that I knew nothing about my child reads very well this is what I was going to talk about I have been talking about the anaesthetists big black blue and that made me think of something else about adult heard and raising children but I forgotten it’s cool clean out my head another form of communication where are you live how are you live and now I’m back was thinking it it is a parent now I look back at my mother had bipolar disorder I did not know it then as I would have been through she did not know it then as she was on diagnosed but it is mostly characterised at least in my mother by manic episodes enjoying episode of ultra happiness and things like panda and a balloon were symptoms of mania end of her bipolar disorder and one of the reasons she was not diagnosed apartment not been well known it would’ve been the 1970s 1950s when she was a child is that it’s enjoyable to have mania not everyone would present to the doctors with happiness

And so this episode as I’m three must be the same year as the hospital memory so this is another memory and perhaps this is why I remembered it in the same category from the same year‘s balloons to me so there is a theory there is balloons in my life I do like blues by the memory birthday to my son I like by the helium is around I can do that disappointing roofing things I want to lose to float in the air I wonder what other memories might pop up now.

Just that my sister must’ve started school where she would be five when I was three that’s probably why mum chose to teach me to read at home as I would be her only child at home at that time and I also went to Playschool and we were Tesco carrier bags for painting painting your art apron to keep the paint off her clothes that was Tesco carrier bag with a bottom cut open so you can slip it over your head and where the handle is this the sort of sleep it’s over your shoulders it’s not a common now I am and I remember at Playschool we were dancing probably do something like the hokey Cokie But I’ve never loved the hokey Cokie and I dance to the music but apparently to the division of the place schools staff who were like oh look at that one because I was doing so different to the other kids so you learn very early on that you’re supposed to conform and do the same as everyone else or else you will learn disapproval which is hard for a toddler I would say for two or three-year-old I would say being disapproved of on the subject of division is very tough and how are you want to protect my own child from hurt how it upsets me to think of his bright